Holding A Heart
by Mariella Montgomery
Summary: A new story. It will be about Addison and ... won't tell you yet, but it starts back in NY days. Read to find out more. ;
1. Prologue

Hey guys,

I wrote a prologue to a new story, which is called "Holding a heart".

Just in case you're wondering:

1. Yes, I used again a title by a song.

2. The song is "Holding a heart" by "Girl named Toby".

So now to the story:  
>It's about Addison and ... I'm not sure about the pairing yet.<p>

Also I'm not sure about the whole story. So I wrote a prologue and I hope you like it and review, 'cause I still don't know if I continue this story or if it is silly.

So I would be really happy if you told me what you think about that. About the whole storyline, maybe the pairing you would like? Tell me everything you feel up to.

So once more: Pretty, pretty, pretty please review!

Love Mariella

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><p><strong>Holding a heart - Prologue<strong>

Derek Shepherd entered the brownstone late at night.

He sighed. It had been an exhausting day. All he wanted to do was go to bed. He hoped that Addison has already gone to sleep. She had waited for him way too often in the last time, but then he saw light in the living room and sighed again. He went inside, but Addison wasn't there. There were only two envelopes lying on the table. Derek noticed her handwriting immediately. On one she had written "Derek" and "Mark" was written on the other. He was confused. Addison had never been the one, who liked to write letter. He picked up his envelope and opened it.

_Derek,_

_I can't do this anymore. I can't sit around and wait that you come home. I know you never intended to hurt me, but you did more than you probably know._

_I left and I won't come back._

_We can't do this to us anymore. It's not fair to any of us._

_You're the best surgeon I know Derek and I'm really proud, but when we became the best in our fields our marriage started to crumple and we didn't even notice._

_Don't try to search for me. I will sent you divorce papers soon._

_What happened to us? I really can't tell. I loved you more than anything. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sorry for anything. We were happy and it was good that we met and married, but I think we changed and aren't the people anymore we once were. We just drifted apart and lost each other. We aren't happy anymore._

_I wish you all you wish for._

_Please give the other letter to Mark, he was there for me when you weren'__t. He became a really good friend when you started to become absent.  
>I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore.<em>

_Love Addison_

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><p><em>Please review! :D ... I ask you with my brightest smile ... ;)<em>


	2. Chapter 1

Hey guys,

I decided to continue, but I'm still not sure about the pairing yet ... let me know your thoughts. ;)

I hope you'll like the first chapter and thank you to the lovely people that reviewed the prologue. :D You're great and you made my day by reviewing.

So, now: Enjoy!

Love Mariella

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Derek looked at the letter in shock. She couldn't seriously have left himHe was a good husband. He sat down and started thinking. Was he really a good husband? _Please give the other letter to Mark, he was there for me when you weren't. _This sentence echoed in his head. She was right. Derek had asked his best friend way to often to spend time with his wife. Maybe he wasn't the best husband ever in the last time. He sighed. He tried to phone her, but like expected she didn't answer. He stood up and went upstairs and looked at their bed for a while. The bed he hadn't slept in very often in the last time. A single tear run down his cheek. He really hoped she would come back. They have been through everything together since med school. It couldn't end this way.

The next day Derek still hasn't heard anything from Addison. He did everything like a robot. Get dressed, get breakfast, go to work. Around lunchtime Mark approached him.

"Hey Derek." Mark smiled at him.

"Mark."

Mark looked worried at his best friend. "Something wrong?"

"I … Addison left."

"What?"

"She left yesterday."

"When will she come back?"

"She won't."

Now Mark looked at his friend really wired. "What do you mean by "she won't come back."?"

"She wrote me a letter where she said she couldn't go on like this and that she left and will send me divorce papers soon."  
>"Wow, that's …" Mark was lose of words.<p>

Derek put a letter out of his pocket. "This is for you, because you were there when I weren't."  
>Before Mark could say anything, Derek turned around and left. He looked at the letter. He noticed Addison's beautiful handwriting immediately. He went to his office and locked the door, before he opened the letter.<p>

_Mark,_

_I think you already know what happened, because Derek seemed to have given you the letter when you read that._

_I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything, but you're Derek's best friend and we both know you would have told him, so that he could try to convince me to stay._

_I was really miserable the last time and I'm sorry that you saw that, but I really enjoyed spending time with you. This was always my little light on a miserable day._

_I will only tell you this and I beg you not to tell Derek. I am in Seattle. Richard Webber offered me again the job as neonatal/OBGYN at Seattle Grace. I would be happy if you called me some time._

_I will miss you.  
>Also I wanted you to know … I know we agreed that we would never talk about the night last week, but … I'm not sorry for it. You should know that.<em>

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Love Addison_

Mark looked at the letter in shock. One he told her where she was and two and way more important she told him she wasn't sorry. He was still unsure what to do. So he grabbed his jacket, told his assistance that he would take the leftover day off and left the hospital.

Around 4500 kilometers more westwards Addison just entered the hospital. She had free the morning and her shift was starting soon. She saw Richard Webber waiting for her. He hugged her.

"Hello Addison."  
>"Richard, it's good to see you."<br>"You too. How have you been?"  
>"The flight yesterday was good and I moved in the Archfield for a while."<br>"You know this wasn't what I meant."  
>"I know … but I can't talk about the leftover things."<br>"Ok."

"I have a request."  
>"Sure."<br>"I would prefer to go under Montgomery."  
>"I thought so. Get changed. I will introduce you to the new interns in a few."<p>

Meredith Grey, Alex Karev, George O'Malley, Izzie Stevens and Christina Yang had their first break on their first day. Bailey had told them that they would meet the new attending soon, because the chief would introduce him or her to the staff after lunch, and maybe if one of them was lucky, he or she could go with the new attending.

In the moment they all were curious, who the "new attending" was.

"I think it's a man." Alex told the others.

The women rolled their eyes. "No, it will be a woman. I'm sure." Izzie told them.

"The question that is way more important: What is the field he or she is in." Christina noted.

"Guess we will know this soon."

Short time later they walked to the conference room, in which the staff meeting was. Everybody was excited when the chief entered the room with a gorgeous looking red headed woman. Most of the man gasped and a few women looked at her jealous, because she was really beautiful. The chief smiled his brightest smile. "Hello, I'm happy most of you made the time to meet our new head of Neonatal Surgery and Obstetrics and Gynecology Dr. Addison Montgomery."

Addison stood up, "It's nice to be here and I hope we will work together very well. I only heard the best of this hospital and I'm pleased to be here."

Short time later the conference was ended. Bailey introduced herself to Addison and the two seemed to come along pretty good.

"Grey" Bailey shouted for Meredith after a short time. Meredith went over. "Yes, Dr. Bailey."

Addison smiled at the young woman. "Seems you're with me today." Then she smiled at Bailey. "See you later, Dr. Bailey." She worked to the door and turned around to Meredith. "Are you coming?"

Meredith nodded, she was still in a shock. On her first day she worked with Addison Montgomery? This couldn't be real. She was one of the best surgeons ever. So she hurried to catch up with her.

Same time in New York Mark Sloan walked to Central Park and couldn't get Addison out of his head. The smile, especially from this night, how beautiful, clever and witty she was. He knew that it was really wrong to fall for his best friend's wife, but it had happened and when he thought of this night … a shiver went over his skin. _I know we agreed that we would never talk about the night last week, but … I'm not sorry for it. You should know that. _He repeated that sentence over and over in his head. She wasn't sorry and he wasn't really sorry too. He felt a bit guilty, but sorry … not he really wasn't.

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><p>Again ... pretty please review. :D<p> 


	3. Chapter 2

Hey guys,

the next chapter is finally done. :D

I really hope you'll enjoy it and I would be really really really lucky if you reviewed. That would make my day. In the moment the weather is really rainy here. I love sunshine, so I'm a bit sad because of that. Please make my day by reviewing.

Love Mariella

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><p><strong>Holding a heart <strong>**– Chapter 2**

The day has gone very smooth at SGH. Around lunch Addison and Meredith were in her office and did preparation for the operation on early afternoon. Addison's iPhone was lying on the table and rang again. Addison rolled her eyes and didn't answer it again. Meredith looked at her. This attitude had gone on for the whole morning now.

"Don't you think, it might be important?" Meredith told her carefully.

Addison looked up from her work and looked at the younger woman. "Grey, you know it's good to have a caller id and I really don't want to talk to the person, who tries to call me the whole morning. I think I'll get a new number soon."

Meredith saw that Addison didn't seem to want to talk about it, so she dropped the topic. Short time later Addison's mobile started to ring again. She rolled her eyes in annoyance, but when she looked at her mobile her mood lightened up a bit.

She picked it up. "Hey Mark."

"Adds. Great. Derek told me he tried to call you the whole day."

"Yes, he did. I didn't feel like talking."

"Oh, but you're talking to me."  
>"Different topic."<br>"Ok, so how are you?"  
>"Fine. You?"<br>"I miss you."  
>"Mark, I …" She noticed now that Meredith was still in her office. "Could you hold the line for a min?"<p>

"Sure."

She turned to Meredith and Mark heard her telling her. "Dr. Grey could you look after our patient and arrange everything like discussed for the surgery later?"

"Sure Dr. Montgomery." Mark heard a voice from the background and someone leaving a room.

"Ok, so where were we?"  
>Mark was a bit shocked. "She called you only Montgomery."<br>"Yes."'

"Why?"

"Because I don't think I'll be a Shepherd for a long time anymore and also I would prefer not to think about Derek right now."  
>"You know you have to talk to him in time."<br>"Marky …"  
>"Addison, I can understand why you left, but he's your husband."<br>"You didn't tell him where I am, right?"

"Of course not. You asked me not to tell him."

"Thanks."

"Always."

"Mark?"

"Hmm?"  
>"I miss you too."<p>

Mark smiled a bit. "Go and take care of your patients Adds. I'll call you in the evening and ask how your surgery went. Alright?"

"Sure. Talk to you later Mark."

"Yes, until later. Bye."

"Bye."

The weeks went on like that. Addison and Mark used to talk in the evenings and Addison started to become familiar to Seattle. Miranda Bailey and she started to build a friendship and she came pretty good along with the interns. Especially with Alex Karev, which surprised her. Normally he was the guy, who didn't come along good with many, but he and Addison became good friends and went out more often. The question that was still unanswered was if they were friends or if it could become more.

One evening Alex waited for Addison. Soon she came down to the entrance hall. Alex looked at her closely. She was really hot and he liked her much, maybe he should tell her in time.

She approached him. "Hey."  
>He kissed her cheek. "Hey, how are you doing?"<p>

"Good. My patients are fine, so everything is good."

"So where will we go? Are you hungry?"

"Hmm … yeah."  
>"I know a great Italian, but if you want to eat something different …"<br>"Italian sounds great." She linked her arm in his.

"Then let's go." He smiled at her brightly, when a man entered the hospital. Addison didn't notice him for the first time only when he headed to them , she looked at him closer. She gasped.

"Everything ok?" Alex asked her concerned.

"Alex, I … I am sorry." She told him when the man approached them. Alex had to admit that he wasn't bad looking.

He looked at Addison. "Addison."  
>"Derek, what are you doing here?"<br>"You would know if you returned any of my calls."  
>"Wha …"<br>"Richard asked me to come for a case."

"He didn't tell me."

Derek shrugged. Then he looked at the young man by Addison's side. "Derek Shepherd." He introduced himself.

"Alex Karev." He told him politely. Addison and he obviously knew each other and she didn't seem really to see him.

Derek looked at him. Didn't he get it? Then he moved closer to him and told him calmly. "The woman you were about to take out is my wife."

Alex looked at Addison in shock. She didn't know he was falling for her, but how could she not tell him she had a husband.

"Derek, you should leave." Addison told him quietly.

"Oh really, after I finally found you? I missed you."

"Oh you noticed I was gone?"

"Addison …"  
>"No Derek, listen. You were never home, you can't …"<p>

He moved closer. "Addison, I'm sorry. Can we at least talk about it?" She felt his breath. Damn him!

"No."  
>"Please." Oh gosh, he was even pleading and giving her his puppy eyes. She knew she never were able to turn him down in the past when he behaved like this.<p>

"Derek, I …" She grabbed Alex' hand. "Let's go Alex."

Alex went with her and Derek sighed. He made a phone call.

"Hey man, I need you here. Addie is … well Addie and I think this time she is really mad."

He listened for a while. "Great. Just tell me when you will be here tomorrow. I'll pick you up."

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><p>Again: Pretty please review and if you have a wish for the pairing ... I'm still not sure about the pairing in this story. ;)<p> 


	4. Chapter 3

Hey guys,

the new chapter is finally done. Thank you for all the reviews to the last chapter. So you told me every pairing, which is possible for this story: Addek, Maddison, Addex or Addison/OC … hmmm … I'm still unsure, but I'm hopeful Addison will know what to do. ;)

So enjoy the chapter and I would be really happy if you reviewed (I give you my best puppy eyes and some delicious cookies).

Love Mariella

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><p><strong>Holding a heart <strong>**– Chapter 3**

Short time later Alex and Addison arrived at the little Italian restaurant. They ate in silence for a while. Finally Alex asked her. "Care to tell me what happened earlier."

"My husband." Addison told him quietly.

Alex groaned. "I noticed that. You're really married?"

"Yes."

"How long?"  
>"11 years, we married right after med school."<p>

Alex shrugged his head. "Addison …"  
>She looked at him. "Alex, I'm sorry, I should have told you, but … it was just so … I wanted to leave my old live behind and you … you have been such a great friend. I'm sorry for lying."<p>

Alex looked at her for a short while. "You don't get it, do you?"

She looked at him confused.

"I really enjoy your company, but you're … I fell for you ."  
>"Alex, you can't …"<br>"It's the truth. I want us to be more than friends."

"Alex, I don't think this would be a good idea."  
>"What a pity." He stroke her cheek and kissed her softly. "See you at the hospital tomorrow." Before Addison could say anything more he had left.<p>

*** The next day at the hospital ***

Alex Karev had just entered the hospital, when a good looking blond guy entered the hospital too. He walked over to him, because there was nobody there except him. "Hey, I'm searching for Dr. Addison Montgomery. Have you already seen her?"

"Nope."

"What a pitty, I came the whole way from …"

In this moment Addison came down the stairs. Mark smiled at her brightly. Addison went over to him and hugged him. "Hey Mark."

"Adds. Good to see you. You look hot as ever."

Addison only rolled her eyes. Alex stared at them in shock. A normal person wouldn't survive to say this like this to Addison, even though it was true.

"Charming as ever." Addison only replied to Alex' confusion.

Addison then noticed Alex standing next to Mark. "Oh, sorry. Alex this is Mark Sloan. Mark this is Alex Karev." The two men s nodded at each other. Alex mind was racing. Did she just say "Mark Sloan" like in Mark Sloan the greatest plastic surgeon?

"Ok, I have patients. See you later. Good to see you."

When Addison was gone, Mark looked closely at Alex. "You like her, don't you?"

Alex shrugged his shoulders, he really didn't feel like talking about it and definitely not to a guy, he didn't know.

"You do." Mark moved a bit closer. "Try to forget her, because man, she's really out of your league."

With that he left. Alex looked after him. He was too stunned to say or think anything.

Some hours later Mark was watching Addison's surgery. Derek sat down next to her. "Hey man, here are you."  
>"Yes."<br>"Did you talk to her?"  
>"Only a short talk."<p>

"What did she say?"  
>Mark shrugged. "Not too much." Then he looked seriously at Derek. "Maybe it's time to let go."<br>"Mark …"

Mark looked at Derek closely and then Derek saw it and told Mark calmly. "You like her." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Mark didn't reply.

"Mark, I trusted you with her and you …" Derek was now angry. "Did you try anything?" Still Mark was silent. Derek got up and pressed him at the wall. ".?" He said full of anger.

"Derek … we … only kissed once and …"

Derek moved backwards. "You can't be serious. She's my wife!"

"Then maybe you should treat her like she is. You send me to do all the things you should normally do. I went out with her on your wedding day, I was the one, who went with her to the galas. The people thought I was the one she was married too." Mark remembered the night when the kiss happened so well.

_Addison and Derek were invited to a gala. In the hospital Derek had approached Mark and told him, he won't make it and that he should go with Addison instead.__ Addison was already home. Short time later Mark arrived at the Shepherds. He let himself in with his key. He looked handsome. He wore a classic black tuxedo._

"_Derek finally …" Addison rushed from the master bedroom. Her face fell when she saw Mark. "Mark."_

_Mark looked at her. She looked so beautiful. She wore a golden dress and her hair was curled. "Addison, I'm sorry."  
>"He won't make it."<em>

_Mark shrugged his head. "But I thought maybe you wanted to go and …"  
>"Thanks." She kissed his cheek. "I'll get my purse." Short time later she came downstairs. She tried a small smile. "You look handsome."<br>"Yeah, because you picked out the suite."_

"_Oh yeah, I remember, the shopping I dragged you."_

_Mark smiled. "Yes." She went over to him and straightened his tie. He took her hand. "Let's go."_

_When they arrived at the gala Addison's mode grew a bit better than before. Short time later Addison and Mark were dancing. She smiled at him. "Thank you for coming with me."  
>"Always a pleasure. By the way, you look fabulous."<em>

"_Thanks." The night went by rather smooth until the chief of a hospital in Boston approached them._

"_Ah, Dr. Addison Shepherd, I hoped to see you tonight. I read your new article. It was brilliant. Any chance you would move?"_

_Addison smiled. "You try every time, don't you chief Smith?"  
>"Sure." Then he looked at Mark. "Oh and you must be the fabulous husband of hers."<em>

_Addison looked at Mark in shock, but he only embraced her lightly. "Yes. Nice to meet you sir, but don't try to persuade my wife away from NY."_

_Chief Smith smiled at him. "Wouldn't think of that. So I have to go, have a nice evening."_

_When he was gone, Addison looked at Mark. "Thank you for saving me."_

"_Always."_

_Some hours later Addison and Mark entered the brownstone. "Thank you for tonight Mark."_

"_You're a nice company, so I would do it again."_

_They looked at each other for a while, before Mark leaned in a bit, but he waited and Addison leaned in too. They kissed softly. Mark embraced her carefully. The kiss grow more passionately, before Addison moved backwards. "Mark …"  
>He kissed her temple. "Sleep well, Addie." With that he left a stunned Addison behind.<em>

Derek snapped him back to reality. "How dare you …"

"Derek, ask yourself: Didn't you maybe deserve this. You should make her happy. She's your wife and you acted as if you were married to your work and left Addison behind."

"Go away!" Derek told him carefully quiet. Mark shrugged and left.

Derek looked back down at his wife. She was nearly done. He decided to go down and wait for her in front of the or. He was still speechless. His best friend and wife had kissed. It seemed like an awful dream. Was Mark maybe right? Was this his own fault? Did he leave Addison behind?

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><p>Pretty please press the button below and review. :D<p> 


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